So You're Undefined Kevin-Curious?

Season's Greetings,

So you're confused about who you are to me. Well you're in good company: most people in the world are lucky enough to never meet me. Of the 8 billion people in this world, roughly 0.000000% of them will even ever have the chance to think about the possibility of me existing. You're in a group with Dolly Parton, Neil deGrasse Tyson, every famous person not from America (and also basically all of the famous people in America). But you're better than them, because while you don't know me you have the rare opportunity to change that.

If you choose to date me or be my friend you get to join an exclusive club not even the Pope, Kate Middleton, or Gloria Steinem get to be part of. And hey, if you choose not to, you're still in a great group. I won't make a hard sell, I know what I'm offering and it's pretty good, but it's not like I have time to meet almost 8 billion people so we're going to keep this group pretty exclusive.