So You're My Friend?

Heyo!

This is the real most important page on the website. Who needs a long term, fulfilling relationship that gives them something to live and work for when they have random dudes who occasionally come over for poker? Welcome to my foray into the world of online dating, consider yourself enlisted into the cause. If you know anyone who would be good to set me up with, let me know! If you meet someone out and about who you think would be good for me, pass on this website. If you get actually enlisted into a military draft, let me know where I can send you a care package and if you'd rather have twizzlers, red vines, or like more bullets (we'll see what you need on the front).

The biggest hand I could get is a blind date, but I'd love if you could refer women to this website - even explictly for the purpose of laughing at your idiot friend. The next biggest help would be suggestions on how to make this website better. There are places the sarcasm may not be landing, weird references nobody is going to get, parts that may come off as more desperate or creepy than funny, and of course ways I could put myself in a better light. The point of this website is to get a bit of a laugh at my expense, so there should be plenty of self-deprecating humor in here, but I don't want to come off like a total tool. Let me know where I should tone down the jester dance or put in a little hype for myself, and I'll happily accept your compliments then not actually make any changes to the website.