So You're here to make a Referral?

Aloha!

I don't have this website because I have a shortage of dates. I have my heart set on a long term relationship and I want to minimize the time it takes to find someone amazing. I would love your help in making that happen: if you're willing to help you'll need to know what I'm looking for. One day when I end up with the right person, I hope she will be my best friend, so if you know of someone who is a good friend or could be a good friend to me, please set us up! Feel free to show her any pictures of me or this website as a whole and reach out to me to set something up via my personal contact info if you know it, KevinIsStillAvailable@gmail.com, or the form at the bottom of the page. As long as your date set-up is interested in being in a relationship, let's go on a first date and see if it's a good match: it's no big deal if it doesn't work out, the stakes could hardly be lower. If we decide not to date, I'd love to make a new friend (and there's a bonus for that too). 

The Incentive Program:

A) 1st Date: My Personal Guarantee or $100 back

I give you my word your date set-up will feel respected, appreciated, and have 0 complaints about my behavior being offensive or inappropriate. I will put my best foot forward and devote more than average time, thought, effort, and resources into first date planning and execution. I can't promise every woman will love me or have the greatest date of all time, but I can promise romance, humor, and gentlemanly behavior. I am so confident in this, if this promise is not met, I will give you $100 USD (and you can distribute however much of that as you want to the woman you set me up with).

B)  3rd Date: $50

If you hadn't mentioned to your date set-up that you are getting paid to set us up, I'll let her know at this point. Once the 3rd date is over with plans to meet for a 4th, I'll send you the money. 

C)  Define Relationship: $500

If you are in a relationship, I'll also take the 2 of you out for dinner on a double date to say thank you. Don't hold your breath though as it may be a while: I don't mean going exclusive, I mean having your date set-up happy to hear me call her my "girlfriend".

D) Get Married: $5,000 or better

This is in here mostly as a joke, but if it actually pans out, I'll make it worth your while. And I mean if our story of meeting involved you setting us to try to get $50-500, it's not like that wouldn't go into a wedding toast anyway. So here's the deal: if you want to go on a cool trip with me instead, or if you want to be a groomsman/woman, or if you'd rather ask me any sort of favor or request instead of the money, I'll probably be happy to comply. We can figure it out in this hypothetical future but the point is you can pick something cool and fun worth up to $5k or of course you can just take the cash.

E) Get Divorced: You pick up my bar tab

I mean at least up to a $5,000 tab - it feels like the least you could do...

Alternate) Become Friends: I'll buy us coffee or a round of drinks if we end up as friends

I am always in the market for new friends and if your date set-up and I end up being friends instead of anything else, I'd love to hang out with you and her and buy us all a round of drinks or coffee.  

But Wait, There's More!

If you are familiar with pyramid schemes, then you'll love this bit. If you just tell your friends to refer someone, then you get 10% of their rewards in addition! So for example, if you tell a friend who tells a friend who sets me up on a date and we end up going out 3 times, I will give the referrer $50, the friend who referred that person will get $5, and you will get $5 too! When I get set up, I'll verify the chain of referrals, but even if you don't have someone for me, you should share this website with friends and who knows maybe you'll get some cash.

Disclaimer: "My Personal Guarantee or $100 back" promise to pay $100 USD if promise is not met is a good faith agreement and will not be paid out in the event that claim of breach is considered baseless by Offeror. Offeror fully stands by this guarantee, but understands that it would be easy to abuse by Date Set-Up and/or Date Set-Up Referrer. Actions taken to intentionally antagonize Offeror or otherwise bait Offeror into making less than full execution of promise will nullify guarantee and make me really sad. In fact, all of the above offers will be paid only at the discretion of the Offeror, and nothing in this website constitutes or creates a contract or obligation. It would be a huge solid if you could set me up though, I promise I won't be an idiot about it. Also I have to cap the referral chain at 5 people.