So You're a Single Non-Woman?

How's it going,

I get it, I'm in the same boat. Unfortunately, my romantic interests are limited to women, but fortunately I'm always in the market for new friends! 

I have over 20 years of experience in friendship, and rarely ever convert friends into enemies. I am honest, agreeable, and always open to fun and adventure. I am loud and my sense of humor features many dark jokes and roasts, but most of friends are willing to overlook that in favor of my other positive qualities. When I finish this website, I'll be sure to add testimonials from my friends, but my assumption is that I'm like a 3.8/5 star rating with reviews that mention "funny", "generous", and "abnormally interested in the assassination of JFK".